Mother’s Day: not always a joyous occasion

Several years ago, I was a writer for Examiner. I wrote as the Atlanta Adoptive Families Examiner. I shared stories of Atlanta families who had adopted, local and national adoption news, and tips and recommendations for adoptive families or those who know an adoptive family.One article I shared in 2010 expressed my thoughts on Mother’s Day. At the time I was mom to one little cutie (hard to believe he’ll be 12 in two weeks!).

With American Mother’s Day coming up this Sunday, I thought I would share the text of the article here.You can read the original post HERE.

For a number of years, I avoided Mother’s Day like a plague. I was perfectly content to remain holed up in my house, blinds closed, eating chocolate and waiting for the day to be over.

I found myself skipping church almost every Mother’s Day. I couldn’t bear another year where I remained in my seat while the pastor asked all of the mothers in the congregation to stand and be recognized.

I so wanted to be a mother. But for me, Mother’s Day served as a harsh reality check.

You see, my dream wasn’t to be pregnant. My vision had nothing to do with maternity clothes. I battle my weight enough as it is, thank you very much.

I wasn’t one to “ooh” and “aah” over newborn clothes. I never longed to go through the birth process.

No, my dream was to wear the hat of cheerleader, chef, housekeeper, chauffer, referee, nurse, and general multi-tasker. I longed to put our child to bed, read him a story, sing him a song, say prayers together, and tuck him in.

I looked forward to nights of being frazzled and exhausted, realizing that I didn’t get half the things done that I intended to… but happy knowing that I spent time with him instead.
I dreamt of teaching him new things, watching him learn, and taking him new places. I longed to fix his boo-boos, calm his fears, and wipe away tears. I couldn’t wait to tickle him and hug him, and remind him over and over that I love him.
Our firsts weren’t about teeth or steps. Instead, we beamed the first time he called us Mommy & Daddy, the first time he saw the ocean, the first time he told us what he learned in Sunday School, the first time he sincerely said ‘I love you’.
My dream wasn’t tied around the idea of a baby. My dream was to be a mom. And in late 2007, that dream came true. Mother’s Day 2010 will be the third I celebrate as my son’s mother.
I look back to just a few years ago, and remember how hard Mother’s Day was. I look at it now with delight and excitement. God allowed me to become a mother in HIS timing. We arrived in our son’s birth country at the exact time we needed to in order to add him to our family.
As we approach Mother’s Day, consider those ladies close to you that might be struggling. Perhaps infertility haunts her. Maybe she is stuck in the seemingly endless paperwork of adoption. Whatever their struggle, it’s likely not an easy day for her.
On a day like this, extra attention in the form of hugs or conversation might be the opposite of what she desires. But you could take the time to buy a card, write a thoughtful note, send some flowers, or give her a give certificate for a spa service. Find a way to let her know you care!

 

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